10 things you’re Retirement Representative / Financial Professional isn’t telling you.

(Don't sue the messenger. Below blog is my personal opinion and is in no way to be construed as financial advice or in any way affiliated with GWRS, its affiliates, parent companie, past, present and future. This is my rant people. Do not take it to the bank)


1) There is no magic formula. Buy low sell high? It’s a crap shoot. You shouldn’t be selling mutual funds on a daily basis anyway. Trying to time the market is a loser’s game. You won’t win. Have a stiff drink and go to bed early.

2) You will work until you die. Better enjoy your life. It isn’t going to get better in your retirement. (Diaper years, anyone?). Have a stiff drink. Now have another one.

3) We are in the same boat you are. We the esteemed investment professionals have made crappy personal business decisions just like you. In over our heads on credit cards? Yep. Strapped for cash due to lack of overtime, bonuses etc. Yessiree Bob… Unemployed / Underemployed? Hell yeah. Upside-down on our ill-advised mortgages? You betcha. I’m going to have a stiff drink now.

4) On the flip side: 95% of things you will stress about never happen. Think about it. Does it really pay to keep stressing? Hey that drink worked.

5) There is life after foreclosure, eviction, repossession. Yeah I know. The credit card companies, debt collectors, CNN and all of the senators across both parties would have you believe otherwise. Give’em a drink already. They can’t talk out of both sides of their mouths while quaffing a drink.

6) Turn off CNN, CNBC, MSNBC etc. You will save yourselves some heartache. Here’s to Freedom of the Press. Now I am exercising my right to not listen to them and have a stiff drink instead.

7) The economists don’t have a clue about when the market will rebound. Turn them off too. They have been drinking and they don’t know what they are talking about.

8) Is it really a likely scenario that the financial community, government, world is facing Armageddon? Really? Do you really need to stockpile dry and canned goods in your garage and move all of your assets to a money market account that gets less than half a percent in interest and won’t keep up with inflation? That’s the best coping strategy you got? Do yourselves a favor, have a stiff drink and go to bed early or at the very least, stockpile some good quality liquor for that good stiff drink.

9) God love all of the investing public, but the majority (and I mean the majority here) act like a herd of doomed cows stampeding their way off the proverbial cliff and bitching all the way as they plunge to their certain deaths. Take a stand. Resist the urge to moo. Have a black and white cocktail instead.

10) You are responsible for your own financial and life decisions. Education is the key. Don’t assume someone else knows better because they say they do. Educate and empower yourselves. No excuses. Make sure you hydrate when having that stiff drink.